Miscellaneous

I’m Not The Maid

I’m not. I take oath to you, I am not. But, I feel all the time like the guide singer for a one song band. I’m the Lili Taylor mark in Say Anything. “I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about cleaning. And I’m going to warble each and every one of them tonight.” Except, instead of a frisky “That’ll Never Be Me”, or “Joe Lies,” my songs are: (the inscription hit), “I’m Not the Maid,” “I Was NOT Put Here to Unspotted Up After You,” and my all time favorite, the dejection ballad, “There’s Got to Be More to My Life Than Cleaning Up Other Race’s Messes.”

I don’t know whether I live with a bump of primates or whether they’re just normal clan and my expectations are too high. I know my female parent (and her mother before her) was a neat freak. We had a cleaning one who came once a week, but my mother required that we cleanly the house before the cleaning person arrived. Not to print the woman, but because she didn’t want to consume the half-day of cleaning she bought with the woman doing dusting, or formation the beds, or cleaning the mirrors and windows. She expected of great depth cleaning from her cleaning person. So, my sister and I cleaned the bathrooms, did laundry, wiped down the kitchen, dusted and vacuumed every week before the cleaning individual came. Actually, the vacuuming and bathroom cleaning was done mid-week, so those things were done two times a week, once by us and once by the cleaning person. Anyway, you get the pattern, you could go into my mother’s house any given day, any given duration and it would pass the strictest inspection. I notion she was nuts then, but now that I realize the cost of cleaning save and the value in making your kids do chores, I value her reasoning more.

Somehow, I’ve dropped the ball. My mom used to deliver over to my house, endearingly as “The Dirty Little Hovel.” And then we’d laughter. I’ve already commented on my family’s sense of moisture in another entry. I really do think she meant it to be droll, though. I thought it was funny anyway.

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